National Geographic Attack

Well we were up on time, early but not so much bright at 4:45am. We took our bucket showers under the night sky, the water feeling warm against the night air. I gathered our things as quickly as I could, still not having time to eat the porridge that sat on our table. I grabbed enough supplies for any type of “just in case emergency” moment: 6 granola bars, flashlight, t.p., hand sanitizer, camera, poncho, a full 32 oz. of water, extra tote bag to carry back goodies, sunscreen, and deet. We got to the roadside at 5:40am, where Mama told us we were late, and Sema waited in her matching silk PJs, robe, and head-wrap… slightly out of place here. As we waited by the roadside, I applied sunscreen and deet, pulled back my wet hair, and sipped my water, fizzing with the rehydration tablet I popped in the bottle. After 40 minutes of waiting, finally a tro-tro came by and we hopped in to head to Kpeve (pueve). On the ride I ate a Clif Bar for sustenance. At Kpeve we caught another tro-tro to HoHoe (hoe-huoy). This tro-tro was one of two heading to HoHoe, and both were competing for passengers which fueled a full on race between the two, the entire ride to HoHoe. We then caught a taxi from HoHoe to Wli Falls, and we were doing really well on time. Then the taxi stopped to let a woman, her two daughters, and their basket of dried smelly fish into the car. For a while I was really fighting with my vomit reflexes, and if I breathed through my mouth I could taste the fish. I pressed my hand to my nose and decided to breathe, smelling only my hand—which smelled of dirt and sweat, but that was WAY better than the vomit-inducing stench of the dried fish. Finally, at 9:20am, we arrived at the Falls.

The hike to the Falls is only a 35 minute brisk hike, I’m guessing about a mile and a half or two miles one way. The guide wasn’t pausing at all so Sam and I would snap a few pictures and then run to catch up. At one point we stopped at a picturesque worn bridge over a babbling brook. We paused, posed and before I could snap the picture, our flip flops and feet were crawling with a swarm of giant national geographic ants that began to sink their teeth into our feet and burrow themselves in our skin. To say that it was painful would be an understatement. I really can’t describe the chilling feeling that runs through you when/if this should ever happen, but I can say that in addition to the searing pain, panic washed over me and clouded my immediate judgment as I threw off my flip flops and tried to pick the ants out of my skin… while still standing in the middle of the ant pile… genius. At any rate, the guide came in useful, moving us from the ant hoard, making sure our flip flops and feet were picked clean, and we continued on our way. I checked every now and then to make sure I was still breathing. I was… intermittently. I no longer looked at the surrounding jungle, and instead staring at the ground, trying ever so carefully to step exactly where the guide had stepped. There are ant parades or marches or whatever they do when they travel in vast millions, but usually they’re easy to spot: a moving trail of darkness running across the path, dense and about an inch wide. However another ant parade was not following the rules and had created a chaotic sea of ants spread over 3 ½ feet of the trail. I was too close by the time the guide pointed it out, as he was already past the sea, and I held my breath and prayed the biting wouldn’t happen again as I took 3 long leaps. To no avail… the biting ensued once more, though this time I was slightly more calm, less screaming, and it was over much quicker.

Finally around the corner we were standing in a small clearing of jungle, staring at the falls. I kept thinking those Falls were so not worth the ants, and I couldn’t shake the idea that we have to go through them again on our way back. We snapped a few pictures, and I rinsed my hands in the water like a raccoon, and Samantha and I exchanged looks when a fat American family who had gotten there before us asked us if we were going swimming like them, and if we had seen the mass of bats on the rocks flanking the falls. Who goes to Africa and thinks swimming in the base of a waterfall is a good idea? Not me. I recognized the vine I had climbed to before, but it was overgrown and inaccessible. We turned, ready to brave the ants once more on our way back to the start of the trail. We were attacked again on the way back, but there’s no need for me to detail that again for you. When we reached the beginning of the trail there were some people selling carvings, jewelry, and other art so for about 20 minutes Samantha and I indulged our tourist side and got lots of cool things to bring back home.

In order to make it back in a vehicle rather than walking, we opted to skip lunch as well and again turned to granola bars. We waited by the road for a tro-tro, climbed aboard, and waited, parked, baking in a hot oven of scrap metal that was our mode of transportation, for 40 minutes. Finally we were moving again and reached HoHoe. From there we took a tro-tro back to Kpeve, where I fell asleep and resembled a bobblehead as we moved along. In Kpeve we had to wait, sitting in yet another baking tro-tro for a little over an hour before heading to Saviefe. I had a lot of time to memorize the interior, or lack thereof. There was no interior on the doors or insides of the tro-tro, exposing rusted metal. The windshield was smashed in a thousand places, its cracks growing by every bump we went over. The driver’s side door was held in place by a thin blue string, which was removed completely to let the driver in, after which he would pull across a horseshoe looking thing to latch over the window. at one point, it came loose as we drove and the door flung open. My head banged on the side of the rusted metal often, which didn’t help my hunger headache that was forming.

When we got back home I had a granola bar, and started to feel better. We took posing pictures with our two cocoa fruits we picked up, and headed to Mama’s. She told us they weren’t ripe, but said in 3 days they should be fine. She gave us mango that would be ripe in two days, and a group of bananas that would be ripe tomorrow. Holy jeebies anticipation is really a bitch; I just want some fruit!!! We ate dinner, and entertained some kids in the evening. To my surprise, my old friend Divine came to pay a visit, so that was nice to catch up briefly. He agreed to be interviewed tomorrow too, which is awesome. As we chatted, Samantha started moving strangely in her seat with a worried look on her face. Turns out, she’s got fleas! They came from the kids we think, so they’re not allowed in the house anymore, just outside. Gross. We threw her clothes outside and killed about 20 that we found on her and in the room. I have had enough of nature for one day. After Divine left, we visited outside in the night breeze with Mama and Sema and decided we were too exhausted for further social interaction.