Our Children

The relationship between Selom (6) and the other children is one of jealousy and anger. It turns out that when he “comes out of his shell,” he becomes a brat, refusing to listen or obey. He hits Jessica when he gets jealous of whatever she is playing with, whether it be a crayon or a water pouch or us. If we tell him “no,” he goes around us to get to Jessica and smacks her again. (She doesn’t cry or anything, but does her best to hit back.) Being an only child, he doesn’t seem to play well with others, or know how to share. One-on-one, he can be very sweet but even then, he tries to forcibly take things he wants, even after we’ve said “no” and put it away, like a camera, flashlight, or orange. (We gave him one already.) Even when we’re holding the camera, you can feel the strength and determination in his little body as he grabs it and pulls hard, looking at your with stubborn disregard for authority. I wonder what his older years will look like. I hope he gets the right guidance. He chimed in when Denise started singing, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, they are weak but he is strong… Yes Jesus loves me, the bible tells me so…”

Kosi (15) seems eager to learn and his English is impressive. He’s quiet, mature, and gentle with the younger ones. He finds Bob Marley on my ipod and flips through books left on the table. He is very mindful and always willing to translate for us.

Grace (12) has a very mature disposition, but every now and then she’ll act childish to either get attention, or when she lets her guard down and remembers how to be a kid. Sometimes she’ll fall asleep in our room, or on a chair in our seating area. Other times she may just pretend to sleep, especially when we start to shoo them out. She’s like our junior caretaker. She follows us around, and brings us chairs wherever we go. During the rain we went to a storage/plumbing room to watch Beatrice and Kosi pound fu-fu; Grace disappeared and returned with 2 chairs for us! When we went to the soccer practice on the field behind the schools, Grace followed, went into a school, and returned carrying a 5 foot wooden bench on her head. She is very concerned when she notices any cuts on my hand, and is very watchful over Jessica—in a gentle, but authoritative manner. Sometimes though, she doesn’t smile. She’ll come in and sit silently, even if there are other people with us, like Divine or Kosi. I can’t tell if something’s wrong but she’ll look at you, and then look away, not making any expression. Bu she likes to stay in our room as long as possible, even when she’s tired enough to fall asleep in a chair.

Jessica (3) is the life of the party—with such dramatic attitude and expressive eyes. She’ll run up ahead through a curtained doorway, hold the curtain back and cock her head, and her face just says it all: Helloooo! You’re supposed to follow me! From our speaking with her, she’s learned, “come on, come on.” She’s bold for such a young child—the first child to run up and greet us when we arrived. She dances and climbs all over us, singing songs she learned in Sunday school or from her brother and sister, and is always waiting around the corner for us. Last night she cried as Kosi carried her back to their room. She’s so sweet and picking up so much English. She’ll say “it’s MY glass,” or “it’s MY paper,” and repeat almost anything you say with matching enthusiasm and inflection. She’s not afraid of anything, and is bold enough to hit older children much bigger than she is. They hit her back but she holds her own. (We try to discourage hitting between the children, but it’s difficult since that’s form of discipline used here. Other volunteers asked me if I’ve seen a beating yet, and said it’s pretty hard to watch. I hope I don’t have to see one here. They also described another form of punishment used, when a young girl was down on her knees, holding stones above her head, as if in penance.) Back to Jessica though, honestly I would be glad to take her home with me! She’s so smart, always laughing, and full of constant energy (except when you turn around and she’s passed out on the floor or in one of our beds). She’s up before we are, waiting patiently until she sees our curtain blowing in a small breeze, (indicating we must be awake since our door is open) then trots in to say good morning. Yesterday she was so tired when we returned to the village, she couldn’t even say hello. She just looked at us. She was tired because she went to the farm with her mother, who then told us Jessica wanted to follow us but needed a bath first. Jessica’s voice is a little raspy, which almost makes everything she says that much more adorable. I wake up from naps often to the sound of her giggling. This is especially true when she’s standing next to my bed because it’s play time, not nap time, apparently. I’ll miss her when I go back to the states.

The others are very curious and friendly, though the extent of the conversation is me asking “mia foa?” to which they smile and reply, “e.” Babies are ok and just look at us, wide-eyed. Toddlers, like Jessica, are eager to play, as are the older children. To a 1 or 2 year old though, we are monsters! They scream and cry or try to run away. Yesterday a mother brought her screaming child closer to demonstrate we were NOT monsters, and forced her child’s hand to touch Denise’s hand. The child went silent and just looked at the hands, then back up to Denise, then to her mother, and back at the hands. No matter where we go, we accumulate a trail of wandering children, sometimes 15 or 20 of them! We do also have camera-free paparazzi at our bedroom window. The window is open but the curtain is down. As I stand by the window at night, taking out my contacts, or brushing my teeth, I hear small footsteps (in groups) and whispers. I say in English, “Goodnight,” which they repeat, then I have to say “Mia dogu,” (to say I’ll see you tomorrow) and they giggle and run off.